A day in the life...

I've been so busy the past few weeks...work, school, church, and just life!!

Here's a peek at my exciting life (HA!):

Legal Assistant by day and student by night.

I try to save a buck. Coupons are my bestfriends.

I'm always excited when I stumbled across a good book.

I take pictures of tourist. LOL. My mom and aunt conquering SF's hills.

I play with cute babies.

I attempt to cook. Chili and cornbread. It was good!

I enjoy watching the season change. LOVE fall!

I  do good deeds when I can. My friend's car died.

This is what I do on Saturdays.

She's a bottle lady!

Just call me the bottle lady. 

My second job is to collect bottles and cans. 

 

So, I wasn't joking about collecting bottles to pay off my criminal ways! I have been saving bottles for some time now and yesterday I  recycled them. I had plans to put the money I would make in my savings BUT now that I am pretty much owned by the State of California the money will go towards my tickets.

Sad.  

An Abundance of bottles and cans

 

Can anyone take a guess on how much I got for all these bottles? 

 

I tried out for NASCAR and went to Youth Alive! WOO

So, this was my first time going to Youth Alive in Burbank, CA and what an adventure it was! I had a wonderful time and was really glad I able to go. I met new people and made new friends!  The services were great and so was the fellowship!

Here are some pictures. I didn't take too many mainly because my phone kept dying :(

New Friends ;)

The famous window picture!

LOL. Love Anali's face & who is that guy?

Finally met Jedidah! YAY! We are cute :)

My road trip buddies

Roommates

Love this girlie!

Six Flags!

My sweet friends. Love them so much!

I am so thankful for these 3 ladies (picture above). What a great time we had together and I am so blessed to have great friends. I love all three of you so much and am so happy we were roommates for a few days. It was a lot of fun! 

Christy: I LOVE YOU! Thank you for being such an amazing hostess and great friend. I miss you already!

Anali:   Ms. Social Butterfly! Thanks for introducing me to all your friends! Love you!

Melissa: I am sooooo happy we got to spend time to get to know each other. I just love you! I'm coming to visit soon!!

Anyway, you may be wondering what's up with my blog title...wellllll.....sadly, as I was cruising along the highway to get to Burbank I got a ticket. SOOOO SAD! This literally bummed me out, but I deserved it! I was speeding and trying to beat the GPS arrival time. Shame on me! It's like a road trip tradition for me and I am suffering the aftermath. However, apparently I wasn't satisfied with just one speeding ticket because on the way back home I had another cop happily hand me another yellow love note! YAY me!  Needless to say, I was not a happy camper Sunday morning! I cried like a baby when I got my second ticket, BUT God's still good. It could have been worse, like a horrible accident. My friends and I are alright and my car is intact. The only thing damaged is my bank account. Sigh, I will be paying these tickets off till Jesus comes back!  What an expensive lesson to learn!! Cruise control is now my BFF!!

So, now I am counting my pennies, smashing all my water bottles, soliciting friends for their empty water bottles and saying good bye to my thrift store shopping adventures...all to pay off my tickets! I may give up a meal or two as well. LOL...if you feel sorry for me...send me some cookies...better yet, send me your empty water bottles or cans! ;)  

This is all funny now. Actually, it is all really funny the more I talk about it. Just my fate! LOL. Now, whenever I see a cop car I start to hyperventilate and shake! HAHA just kidding...kinda!  My co-worker told that years ago she was riding in a car with a friend and her friend who was driving saw a cop. She freaked out and was so nervous that she stepped on the gas and floored it! Apparently she got confused and ended up with a ticket! The cop even asked her what happened?! LOL.

Anyone else have any funny (or not so funny)  cop/ticket encounters?

This is Me

This past week my dear friend, Anali decided to have a "Self -Esteem" week on her blog. She asked a few of her friends to share their personal stories/struggles with self-esteem and she posted each girls story on her blog. I was one of those girls. All those close to me know how I have struggled with my self-esteem and confidence for a lonnnnnnnng time, so being part of "Self-Esteem" week really was special to me.

Each story is unique, personal and meaningful. It was so comforting to read each girls story. We all had different journeys and experiences, but it was refreshing to know that I am not alone! Head on over to Anali's blog and read our stories.

Note: I have come such a long way in this journey and am so thankful I am no longer that girl. Thank God for working on me and polishing me up! 

Here is my story: 

When Anali asked me to share my story for self-esteem week I thought “sure, why not! This will be easy”. I thought hard about what I wanted to share. I wanted it to be good and impacting to where all the girls who would read this would shout out a loud hardy "AMEN"! But as I started writing it all out I said to myself “man, I had some major issues!” HA! Seriously, after reading what I had initially typed out, I looked at my mom and said “this makes me sound like I had some kind of complex.”  Well, I guess I did have a complex: the un-pretty complex (I made this up. I think it is fitting). I am sure this complex is common among most girls. For me, it nestled itself in my life for quite a while, which began a long, long battle. I decided to write with all honesty and make this as simple as possible.

I have never been really good at accepting compliments. Whenever someone would compliment me and tell me I looked nice or pretty, I would smile and say “thanks” but secretly I did not believe them. I have struggled with self-esteem and confidence for years. I am not really sure why, though. What’s interesting is when I was a pre-teen, I use to think I was all that, and a bucket of Lumpia (Egg rolls- I’m Filipino!)  and my confidence level was to the sky and beyond. I don’t think I was conceited, but my friends back then may want to argue that.  Sometime after I started college I made a 180 and my self-esteem came crashing down. I felt less confident and uncomfortable with my appearance. This was also around the same time my heart got broken by my “boyfriend” (I use parenthesis because this wasn’t a real relationship). So there is some correlation between my broken heart and lack of self-esteem. However, I do not blame this guy at all. I felt so much rejection and in turn I started to believe that I was one of Cinderella’s not so cute step sisters. The rejection hit me hard.

My battle was long. It was annoying and now, after all these years, it’s embarrassing. I drove my parents and friends crazy with all my “I am not cute” and “I am so fat” comments. I created a huge mountain out an ant hill. I constantly compared myself to all the other girls that I deemed to be models in comparison to myself. Attending conferences and camp meetings were a challenge because I always felt like the ugly duckling among the sea of beautiful princesses. I never felt pretty enough. I was also very obsessed with my weight. I associated being “fat” with being ugly, therefore I had a long battle with wanting to be stick skinny. That was intense too. See what I mean? I had issues! 

One day my Pastor sat me down just to talk. He would randomly ask me how I was doing from time to time. During this particular conversation, he had asked me if I thought I was beautiful. I instantly ignored his question (of course, because I didn’t think I was). Shortly after this he started what he calls our “mutual admiration society” where we greet each other with “Hey Gorgeous” and “Hi there, Handsome”.  You do not know how special this made me feel and it really did help get me out of my pit of insecurities. I thank God that He placed a great man in my life to help encourage me where I needed it the most. We still have these exchanges of admiration and I cherish them.

Let’s fast forward to now; do I still struggle with my insecurities? Do I still have my complex? I can’t lie and say “no, I am 100% recovered” because honestly I still have my moments where I find myself falling back into my pit. BUT the difference between now and then is that I am learning to really love myself for the BEAUTIFUL person God has made me to be. He loves me just the way I am…flaws and all. I am just the way He wants me to be or else He would have created me like someone else.  Plus, if I couldn’t love myself how do I expect others to love me. And how do I make God feel by having my complex? It was like a slap in His face and telling Him that His wonderful handiwork was flawed. Really? God makes beautiful things and that includes me.

A lot has happened in my life in the last two years that really had taught me so much about myself and forced me to really deal with my issues. I have learned to truly love myself (it hasn’t been easy at all) and see myself in the way my family and close friends see me: Awesome! HA. I joke! But seriously, I walk with more confidence now. I take care of myself. I dress with more confidence and am more adventurous with my clothes (colors and prints!). I believe the compliments I receive are real.  I feel good in my own skin. I don’t avoid the mirrors like I use to or put myself down constantly. I can see myself just as pretty as other girls instead of feeling like Shrek next to them.  When I look at myself I am less critical and more appreciative of the pretty face staring back at me. Most importantly, I am happy. I am happy with who I am. The happiest I have ever been in such a long time. I give all the credit to God! Because He is so good to me! His love has been unconditional.

My dad always told me that no matter what there will always be someone better or prettier, so just be the best me that I can be. It wasn’t really easy to take this advice, but my dad was a smart man.  So, I am doing my best to be the best Carisa Luisa Virtucio. I am one of a kind and a Child of the King, who is so blessed.  Life can’t get better than that. 

I am not sure if what I’ve battled with will help anyone else, but during the process of writing out my story (especially my first draft) it really helped me heal. I have spent years focusing on the outward appearance and comparing myself to others, which caused a long spiral of insecurities and bitterness. I even thought to myself that maybe I wasn't the right person to participate in self-esteem week because I still have my struggles. But this really has been so good for me. It not only showed me how silly and dramatic I have been, but also that I have been looking at things all wrong. The most important thing is how God sees me and what's in my heart. Above all I want to be pleasing to Him, and this includes loving myself just the way He made me.

The new refined and polished Carisa. No longer the girl hiding behind her glasses.

Why wait?

Rambling #2: 

Patience is a virtue that without a doubt I completely lack. I can't stand traffic, waiting in long lines or being put on hold during a phone call...all because I do not like waiting. My dad use to tell me allllll the time in his calm and relaxed voice to " be patient and wait my turn". Easier for him to say than for me to practice! I still struggle with the concept of "being patient" (just ask my mother!)

The wise and experienced have said something along the lines of "good things come to those who wait" or " the best is yet to come [just wait]". In time past, these common nuggets of wisdom have gone in one ear and out the other as I impatiently complain about whatever situation I am encountered with. This is probably the main reason for all the bumps I have encountered in life. (Aha!)

Anyway, you may be wondering where am I going with this blog post. Well, this past week I was reading my dear, smart and wise friend, Anali's blog posting that really made me think and inspired me to do some of my own ramblings. You have to read her post. It is so timely, blunt and well-written. Check it out: Oh Dear Love

I couldn't agree more with all that she had to say. She was right on! 

Soooo glad for friends who are so strong and grounded with what they believe! 

So the topic is: love 

You know that warm fuzzy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you see that real cute drummer boy across the church. You can't stop giggling or even think straight. Your phone is glued to your hand because all you do is text him nonstop. You have been hit by cupid and have immediately started practicing your new last name with hearts and curly ques. 

Been there? Done that? Can write a blog post about it? 

Ha! Amen, Amen & Amen!

By the way, this is far from the true and real meaning behind this famous four letter word. ;)
(this is a girl's scenario, but it's happen to guys too!) 

Earlier this year I read a real good book called When God Writes Your Love Story. This book is good. So good that I recommend that all young people read it at least twice. I honestly wished I read it sooner, I might have been a little more wiser to avoid some bumps in the road if I had. It is written by a married couple and they both talk about their personal journey and struggles with their love lives. It is an easy read and full of insightful nuggets/suggestions/advice for all ages.

The main thing that these authors wanted to get across was to "hand God the pen" and allow him to write our love story. Who better to write the perfect love story for us than our Creator? It is a great concept. So many times we hold on tightly to the pen while God is just waiting for us to let Him have. He knows what is best for us and what we really need. We just make messes when we take control of things...at least that's how it goes for me! Without God's guidance I am like a blind bat constantly flying into a cave wall. SMACK! This book also touched on the dreaded topic of singleness and it was emphasized that it really isn't a curse. It is a time to learn, grow and more importantly to get closer to God. I have been so guilty of looking at singleness as such a bad thing...but in reality it is my time to shine and be what God wants me to be. What an amazing thought! Plus, God knows what He is doing even though I worry at times!

I am 26. I will be 30 before I know it. I am single. TOTALLY single...not even close to marriage. Typically this is depressing. HA. Especially for a girl who wants her happy ending. However, just like my dad has always told me, I have to be patient. Oh the joy in that! But in all seriousness, I truly believe that waiting and allowing God to do all the work is the best decision I am making (even if sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and lose hope!). It is the best decision all of us can make. There are so many amazing love stories where God was completely in control...they are so cute you almost want to puke! HA! I want that. I want the perfect love story. The one that is authored by the greatest writer ever!

So, in order for that to happen. I must be patient. I must wait. I must ignore the urges of cutting in line. I also must take this blessed time being single as an opportunity to better myself and my walk with God. As well as preparing myself for my future. I gladly hand the pen to my life to the One I trust the most.
Why? Because it is worth the wait. 

Now, go grab that book and let's start a book club ;) (Ahem, Christy!!!)
(disclaimer: this book is full of goodness, but it really isn't anything new or we haven't heard before from our elders. 
It is just a friendly reminder)

And for all those of you who have waited (waiting) and allowed (allowing) God to write your story:
I applaud you! 
For those who may have gotten impatient like yours truly: No worries! Just hand God the pen and let him create a masterpiece!

Say that again!

It is late. I am exhausted but can't sleep, so why not write a blog post?!?! ;) 

Anyway, I have an addiction...to Pinterest. If you don't have an account you should sign up NOW!! It's full of fun ideas, tutorials, fashion tips and cool sayings. 

Here are some neat sayings that I absolutely love:

To all the STRONG ladies!

 The ONLY relationship that really matters. 

 What is your answer? 

 My mom says this to me a lot. What else are you looking for? ;) 

 Powerful. 

My Hero

This blog post is a few weeks late. I have been meaning to post this for a while now but somehow just haven't gotten to it. 

Father's day has come and gone and for the past 2 years it has been one of the toughest days of the year for me. The reason being that my amazing dad, my hero, Cesar Virtucio went on to a much better place on in 2010. Needless to say, Father's day is always bittersweet for me.

The last 2 Father's day I have honored my dad by letting go balloons at a beach or a park. I wrote all over the balloon and watched them disappear. However, this year has been different and probably the best.
I chose to celebrate by myself unlike in the past where I have asked someone to join me in remembering my dad. I wanted this year to be just "me and daddy" and I am so thankful I made that choice.  I also decided to fly a kite instead of letting balloons go.  I went to the Alameda beach and let this kite (below) flap in the air as I sat on the warm sand remembering the amazing man I was so blessed to have as my daddy. I now have a new tradition.

Dad, I miss you more than words can ever express. Thank you for being the best Father and example of what a true man should be.

I thought this was the perfect kite for my hero!

I love his smile.

Forever his little girl.

I love you, dad.

Free Yourself!

So, this marks my first official rambling blog post. I thought hard about it. I wanted something spectacular, exciting and memoroable. But nothing amazingly wonderful came to mind.

Since this is where I can ramble on about whatever is on my mind, I am going to share something that has been on my heart...something that I truly believe God has been using to shape me into a better person.

For the past couple of weeks the topic of forgiveness has been preached on. No joke...at least the past 3 or 4 services the preacher has commented on the importance of forgiving. During these messages I sat there scribbling down in my notebook the noteworthy comments these preachers made, while my heart was being tugged at. Yanked!

I am one of those people who hurt deeply. I mean deeeeeeeeeeply! I get my feathers ruffled to the tenth degree! This is not something I am not proud of really, but like I said God's working on me. Being this type of person my mentality has been " why should I forgive someone who wronged me so badly?" or " they don't deserve my forgiveness."

Ever been guilty of that way of thinking? 

These preachers emphaized the importace of forgiving and having a forgiving heart. Really, God expects it of us. My Pastor said it best last Sunday night when he said that people choose not to forgive or show forgiveness because they want to hold on to the hurt. It is as if we want to feel entitled to hold a grudge. Once again my heart felt the tugging and yanking. I hear you Jesus! I really do. But I think God wanted to make sure I really heard him, because on Wednesday night Bro. Thomas from San Jose touched on forgivess too. He talked about having the Mind of Christ and when we do forgiveness comes easily and so does forgetting. One more tugged at the heart. 

My heart's desire is to be pleasing in God's eyes and to have a heart like His. So, thank you God for working on me (as painful as it can be) and for showing me what I need to change in order to be pleasing to you. 

  

Forgiveness makes you stronger, wiser and a survivor!

This speaks volumes! How true is that?!

In short, forgive and forgive earneslty. Avoid falling into the pit of hatred and bitterness that only makes a bigger mess of everything (sadly, I have been there). And more importantly avoid being displeasing to God.

Many people say, "just let it go!", which is easier said then done in most cases, but really...let it go!

I speak to myself here. Forgiveness is hard, but I refuse to be held captive by it.

It is just no fun.

Free yourself!

Hello Blog World!

I finally gave in! I have decided to see if I have the makings of a blogger. I follow several different entertaining blogs and have had an itch to try it out myself. I kind of made it my summer goal. I did some blogging in the past, LC4C, a blog in honor of my dad (Check it out), but wanted something more personal and day to day type of blog! Let's see how this goes!

So, let me introduce myself! Hi, I'm Carisa. 26 years of life and just one of those girls who rambles on about whatever comes to mind and trying to find her path in this world. Here is a glimpse of my life in a nutshell:

Here I am during a photo shoot at the gym! HA! I try to stay active. How do people do crunches on those balls? I am in awe!

One of my # 1 hobbies is bike riding. I absolutely love to ride my bike especially during Spring and Summer. Isn't this bike a beauty? My heart wants it...needs it!

Jesus is my all and all! This was taken on a Sunday afternoon. Starbucks and the Word of God, it can't get any lovelier than that! 

I am not super crafty, but I have a great appreciation for all things crafty. I follow several craft blogs and the talent these women have is amazing!

"Another man's trash is another man's treasure" (did I quote that right?) I am without a doubt addicted to thrift stores. You never know what awesome treasure you will come across.

I wouldn't call myself a true bookworm, but I do love a good book! James Patterson is one of my favorite authors. This is a local bookstore.

I love all things vintage. I just think this picture is so cute. I love the handkerchiefs and the suitcase.  

Well, these pictures do not sum up my whole life, but it will work for my introduction post. I will most likely be blogging about all these things as they are close to my heart.

Before I end this, I wanted to share what means the most to me aside from God. My family (not everyone is pictured, but I don't want this to become a novel):

This is my dad. My Hero. The first man I will ever love, who is watching over me from a better place.
I love you, daddy!

Mother dearest. We fight, we bicker, she nags and I tune her out. Typical Mom/daughter relationship.
She loves me with all her heart and I am grateful for her.

My Lola. Cutest Grandma ever. Miss her so much.

The lovebirds. 52 years of love and friendship.

Hope you enjoyed my first blog post!